One relationship lesson I have learned from Gossip Girl is that people don't really change, at the end of the day you'll realize that you're still yourself. But no matter how captivating GG appeals to our teenage hearts, once in a while reality gets in the way. I know it's mega cliche but change is constant. No matter how the camera defies true emotions by making us look happy in these photos, it wouldn't do more than just make us look like party people whose parents are not strict and have enough cold cash to buy buckets of beer and unlimited shots of Tequila from an unjustifiably expensive bar. Well not exactly, that's a bit beyond us (albeit we wanna be all that and more, haha. Who wouldn't want that?) Yesternight doesn't stand a chance against our last night out. The only thing I remember before our night has ended was what Liz said "It's not the same." We were there to have fun, so we didn't bother to have a certain methodology as to how we defeated our purpose.

It was almost midnight. After our small crowd has dispersed and I was the only one left from the group, I walked towards Starbucks and grabbed myself a cup of hot chocolate and my all-time favorite cinnamon swirl. Then I realized, 'hey it's almost Christmas'. The planners are out once again, and I thought about our night and told myself "Next time shall be one heck of a ride."
With L♥VE || 8:26 PM

At 2:45 am in the morning, I was lying in bed, uneasy, tossing and turning myself in endless agitation, holding myself captive in raging turmoil. I couldn't sleep, I need to sleep.

That is it! I quit. I am no longer going to expose myself to a number of visual entertainments

SOCO gives me the feeling that if those brutal inhumane scenarios could happen to those people involved in the crime scene, then it could to everybody, and I... am no exception! Creeeeps!

Movies and TV shows projecting unexpected, gory deaths. I've already had an overdose of true to life horror and somehow it has been haunting my mind enough to keep me awake all night. I want to close my doors to suspense and all that jeepers creepers-ish things. Although they do give massive entertainment when I'm with my coseys and BFFs. Can I actually keep my word?

The local news (unless needed for academic purposes)- face it, we hate it. The news contains 90% bad news, it's no longer impressive. They honestly have a bad way of enhancing freedom of speech. Can't it be in a justifiable ratio? Like allot 40% for the good stuff?

Have you ever had that feeling?
When you go the cinemas to watch a movie like The Day After Tomorrow or 2012? There's a strange aftermath when you go out and you feel as if life is so cruel and the world is such a bad place to live in, when in fact it is the only one. My dad and I share this same psychological fear. When we go watch as a family, he'd say afterwards, "parang ang sama ng mundo" and in our minds, a requiem of conspiracy starts to play for our morbid thoughts. I thought I was juvenile, but I've reconsidered since my dad has shown his sissy side as well. For consecutive days, I'd feel like I have toxic neuro-acids spilling over my brain's happy juice (not the sexual definition). It's as if every step I make is a fatal decision. It's a far cry from my cheerful persona, leaving me in a constant turmoil.

Yesterday, we went to the faith healer. No no, not be cause I went straight to being a lunatic with my thoughts and all that. He was a friend of my dad's and we went there to visit as a family. He's not like a creepy old man living in an isolated nipa hut somewhere behind the mountains or dark woods (as I have expected, which is quite embarrassing because I felt primitive). He actually lives in a simple house, and he's a well-composed former actor. He was able to read my severe case of dysmenorrhea, and the tension. What I mean is, my thoughts, they give me this tension. Now I carry a bottle of holy water all the time. Sometimes I rub a little on my forehead. Seriously, it drives away the bad vibes. This time I believe it's not psychological. I despise one professor at DLSU who have had students who committed suicide. Why? He's got the skills of an atheist. He's got a strong power to disprove the religious. Sheessh.

Sorry for being crazy all of a sudden.
---

Anyway, let's divert.

THE YEARBOOK! I've seen a few from my batch blogging about their nostalgic moments already. I might get it tomorrow :)

Lastly, my new layout, next week, I'll try my best not to be lazy. :D
With L♥VE || 9:14 PM

I could temporarily delete everything on my ipod and leave only the songs of this fifteen year-old boy.


Seriously, I'm on a roll. I'm a JB fan, and I barely use the word 'fan'.

----

Thanks to your comments I actually realized I have a life apart from numbers or acads. Soooo..

• I went out to Greenbelt with my college barkada and enjoyed an expensive treat from my baby Jules (who is now a man made official by reaching legal age). His driving still scares me.
  
• I've been hanging out at UST and malls near there. Just because, JP is a Thomasian, and it's part of being cheesy to spend time with him.
• I am not failing accounting quizzes (wait, this is academic shit right?, oh okay, sorry couldn't help it)
• I'm planning to join fun runs with my friends! Hooray to losing a puny portion of my baby fats! Which I will sadly regain when I starve and start to eat like a construction worker.
• Why is it that when you are already happy you start missing being bitter (or am I just weird in that sense?)
• I'm changing my layout when I'm no longer miss lazy-ass. I know you're tired of seeing 'the girl who painted love gold' everytime you click a link to this page. Be honest, I can accept brutal criticism anytime. I am sick of it as well.

Time to get some Zzzzzzz.
With L♥VE || 11:42 PM

Now where was that coined?

I don't see the beauty in my life of endless pressing wonderful scientific calculator keys, staring at those artistic lines of a 10-column worksheet and how it differs from a ledger. Ledgers are white, worksheets are yellow (this beats roses are red, violets are blue). I'm exhausted from computing interests and bank discounts. Come on. All work, no play, makes Maye a dull girl. I already look five years older than my actual age. How frustrating could this be. *sigh*

Tonight was supposed to be one of my best guy buds' party at Eastwood. Dad didn't allow me to go for one of his parental reasons. Primarily because it's too far from home and he's sure I won't be home before midnight (or a little after midnight). This is not an arranged private party. It's more like we go to the party, not the party goes to us. Get it? Then there's a booze, and dirty dancing (or not). It does not appeal to me anymore. However, my boyfriend's going, there will be drinks and stacked girls and other macabre tales polluting the minds of paranoid girlfriends. I'm not a selfish, jealous, evil, psycho-girl. But I know of certain innuendos pulled by party wackos. I should know how it feels.

Why 'o why? I seem to be less fun these days. I would not blame math or accounting. But they probably deserve a part of the blame. I need some extreme cheering up, a serious getaway. I like basketball, not chess. I like shopping, not home cosplaying. I like nightouts better than movie marathons. I was born to sleep indoors, then spend the rest of my life outdoors. Bail me out please. Beep me, haha.

And oh, twit me up. wanna follow mayeeeah?
With L♥VE || 1:58 PM

What do you do when you start to feel the mortality of love?

It can't be stable, that's discernible. But how come we start to feel at some point like we're stuck on a one-way street and there's a dead end somewhere in that dark alley. Love isn't supposed to be a cruel joke that when told so many times, its novelty wears off. But, it happens. When you fail to appreciate the aesthetic level and you seem to ignore what lies beyond, it happens. When the moments that felt nostalgic start to become a forgotten blur, it happens. When you start looking for things unlikely to happen and you get furious for absolutely shallow or no reason at all, it happens.

How do you rekindle to life a dying flame when what's left is no more than a little faith?

It happens.

But I figured, it's crazy to think about this. Bad things come and go. I've been unfair. It happens, and he knows, I'll stay.


With L♥VE || 9:54 PM

I refuse to make comments about the pitiful destruction brought by the typhoon, since we all know how everyone made efforts to post their stories on the web trying to reach out to people outside the borders of our beautiful island. We have seen the bayanihan, and yet we get these insults. Do these people really think they're incomparable to animals? Well they're worse. Karma can find its own way. Let's leave it to that.

How lucky were you guys? I think we were beyond lucky. No flood on our street, not even ankle-high. I feel bad for my friends, I haven't talked to them yet.

Anyway, classes will resume next week, and here goes my greatest fear haunting me all over again, what do you call the phobia of boredom? Well that, and not having money. I'm grief-stricken. :|
With L♥VE || 8:09 PM

Maye
She's both a darling and the other way around. A seventeen-year old girl who has lived in gold and illusions all her life. She's a bit closer to dream land than she is to reality. She loves to write, engage herself in extreme things like a daredevil, shops like crazy, be all-girly, and go to night outs like a party animal ruling the dancefloor. Young but determined. She calls herself, an entrepreneur in the making. Nothing feels as good as a cup of coffee, and a sprinkle of love.

Here lies her story. She's only within grasping range.

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